it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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