i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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