you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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