The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
