@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
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