whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
