I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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