I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
