can u get pink eye on your cock?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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