i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
