Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(716): View more from New York

Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad

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(703): View more from Virginia

Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.

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(818): View more from California

he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....

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(231): View more from Michigan

I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide

(231): View more from Michigan

please tell me this is not legit

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(501): View more from Arkansas

First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.

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(602): View more from Arizona

It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.

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(585): View more from New York

You tried to order fondue take-out.

(585): View more from New York

From Taco Bell.

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(817): View more from Texas

When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.

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