I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
