I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Randomize
