I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
