Taylor Swift is so right about you.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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