There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
