It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
