YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
