Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
