We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I look better un-naked...
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
