And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
