just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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