i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
