it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
