Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Randomize
