you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
