There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
