I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Me too!
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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