they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
