so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
