Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
