He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm bleeding and have questions
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
