I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
She's not a foreskin expert like you
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
