Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
