Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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