so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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