So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
