i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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