So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize