Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
