winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize