I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
sex in a hospital.. check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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