I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
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