I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
