She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
