he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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