Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
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stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
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If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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