I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
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