now i know why i became what i already was.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
