i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
