Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
please come you make the beer taste better
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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