it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
