White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
