need another drink. this is the easiest way
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
