He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
