I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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