She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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