All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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