just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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